English is hard

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:24 pm

English is Hard

English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning:

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

akula65 · Post by **akula65** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:34 pm

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:19 pm

not all of that is english though

Blue · Post by **Blue** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:15 pm

akula65 wrote:Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...

beat me to it.

De Rigueur · Post by **De Rigueur** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:52 pm

Reminds me of the children's poem, Three rodents with defective vision.

Isaac · Post by **Isaac** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 8:08 pm

akula65 wrote:Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water...

What language is that?

Kilarin · Post by **Kilarin** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:07 pm

English has very difficult spelling and grammar, because we stole them from everyone else. But what your quote illustrates is English's strength, it's enormous vocabulary.

Of course, it has that enormous vocabulary for the same reason it has the difficult spelling and grammar. It stole it from everyone else.

A favorite quote of mine:
\"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.\" --James D. Nicoll

Firewheel · Post by **Firewheel** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 9:55 pm

I never really realized how challenging learning English must be until I started learning Japanese. English grammar - verb conjugation comes to mind - is much less predictable and features so many special exceptions I can't believe anyone learns English as a second language without smashing their skull open.

I imagine other weird little characteristics would confuse the crap out of a learner - such as \"going up the street\" and \"going down the street\" meaning pretty much the same thing.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:30 pm

all your wells are belong to us.

ps.. a pail is about 1 gallon.

Top Wop · Post by **Top Wop** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 10:56 pm

Jack and Jill it is.

I have parents whose native tongues are Polish and Russian, so more often than not I have to put up with rants from my dad about how goofy English is.

Ok dad, I didn't come up with it, now just leave me alone.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Sat Jul 07, 2007 11:29 pm

Polish and Russian? Oh man, I bet you eat good. ..er well.

(I'm polish descent)

Richard Cranium · Post by **Richard Cranium** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:44 am

Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter...

Jill came down with $2.50...

you know the rest

Flabby Chick · Post by **Flabby Chick** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:50 am

As a kid in the UK it was...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill.
And had a little daughter.

Dead cute when i think of it now, but back then it was ever so risque.

Tricord · Post by **Tricord** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:01 am

Really? I thought English was pretty easy compared to say, French or German (my native tongue is Dutch and is also known to be more difficult to learn than English, but I wouldn't know about that

).

Kyouryuu · Post by **Kyouryuu** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:04 pm

Firewheel wrote:I never really realized how challenging learning English must be until I started learning Japanese.

You haven't reached the kanji, inflection, or quantity suffixes yet, have you?

Krom · Post by **Krom** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 12:19 pm

Kyouryuu wrote:
Firewheel wrote:I never really realized how challenging learning English must be until I started learning Japanese.
You haven't reached the kanji, inflection, or quantity suffixes yet, have you?

Hahaha so true. I think the most basic thing that I have the most difficulty with is the ten million different ways they indicate the tense of a sentence. So many different forms between polite and dictionary it is maddening to memorize them all.

Duper · Post by **Duper** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:24 pm

Krom wrote: Hahaha so true. I think the most basic thing that I have the most difficulty with is the ten million different ways they indicate the tense of a sentence. So many different forms between polite and dictionary it is maddening to memorize them all.

not dissimular to Latin and French verb forms. Although, perhaps not as numerous.

Bet51987 · Post by **Bet51987** » Sun Jul 08, 2007 3:24 pm

Flabby Chick wrote:As a kid in the UK it was...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill.
And had a little daughter.

Dead cute when i think of it now, but back then it was ever so risque.

They could have a son too...

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to have a little fun
Stupid Jill forgot her pill
and now they have a son.

Bee

woodchip · Post by **woodchip** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 7:27 am

English confusing? Try this:

A Blackberry is red when it is green.

Sedwick · Post by **Sedwick** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:10 am

I've heard Chinese can be a doozy as well. Apparently, depending on inflection, one word can mean either \"pig\" or \"mother-in-law\". I heard a priest who took up Chinese gave his Chinese-speaking congregation a few good laughs with this confusion.

Neo · Post by **Neo** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 9:38 am

Top Wop wrote:English is Hard

English has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. Read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning:

Two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; Subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

In plain English what does this translate to?

haha... that's pretty tight

Tunnelcat · Post by **Tunnelcat** » Mon Jul 09, 2007 3:21 pm

Fortunately, being a geologist and a science major, I understand every word of it. But it's not easiest way to to say it.

Sounds like something a science professor would say to freak out his class, pure doublespeak. English could stand to be slimmed down. Get rid of the Latin mixed in it.

Here's a simple definition:

Two people climbed to the top of a mountain, their sole purpose was to collect some water in a big unmarked bucket. One person fell, cracking his skull. The other person also fell ass over elbows in the same direction while trying to save the other idiot's butt.

TIGERassault · Post by **TIGERassault** » Fri Jul 13, 2007 1:59 pm

Sedwick wrote:I've heard Chinese can be a doozy as well. Apparently, depending on inflection, one word can mean either "pig" or "mother-in-law". I heard a priest who took up Chinese gave his Chinese-speaking congregation a few good laughs with this confusion.

Japanese is worse. Their word for 'day' is the same as 'sun'; which is awfully confusing when you're trying to say 'sunday'.

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