A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees 3 men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks at the biggest, meanest one in the face and says, "I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is a fine looking woman!"
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker, and would fight at the drop of a hat.
The drunk leans on the table again and says, "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad, but the biker still says nothing.
The drunk leans on the table one more time, and says, "I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders and says, "Grandpa, you're drunk........ Go home!"
Biker Bar Joke
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-appears and repeats the whole thing. About half an hour later, another guy at the bar stops the first guy and says, "hey, how the heck are you doing that?!" The first guy responds, "oh, it's really simple physics. When you chug the beer, it makes you all warm inside and since warm air rises, if you just hold your breath you become lighter than air and float down to the sidewalk." "WOW!" exclaims the second man, "I gotta try that!" So he orders a huge beer, chugs it, goes over to the window, jumps out, and splats on the sidewalk below. The bartender looks over to the first man and says, "Superman, you're an @$$hole when you're drunk."
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Vertigo 99
- DBB Fleet Admiral
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A highly timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx. He cleared his throat and then asked, "Um, err, which one of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his chair, and looked down at the quivering little man. "It's my dog. Who's asking?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed your Doberman, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old puppy."
"A four week old puppy!" roared the biker, "How could your four week old puppy kill my Doberman?"
"Well, it appears that your Doberman choked on it, sir."
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his chair, and looked down at the quivering little man. "It's my dog. Who's asking?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed your Doberman, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week old puppy."
"A four week old puppy!" roared the biker, "How could your four week old puppy kill my Doberman?"
"Well, it appears that your Doberman choked on it, sir."
And you thought Bikers were tough.......
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored sixteen men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his peni$.............
Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored sixteen men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his peni$.............