Texas joke... with a political twist.

[VonVulcan]

A West Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when
suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a Young Man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out The window and asks the cowboy, \"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?\"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, \"Sure, Why not?\"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects
it to hi s AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, Where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his
location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, He receives an email on his Palm Pilot
that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his Hi-tech, miniaturized HP
laserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, \"You have Exactly
1,586 cows and calves.\"

\"That's right, so I guess you can take one of my calves,\" says the
cowboy.
He then watches the young man select one of the anim als and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, \"Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my calf?\"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, \"Okay, why
not?\"

\"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party, says the Cowboy.
\"Wow! That's correct,\" says the yuppie, \"but how did you guess that?\"

\"No guessing required.\" answered the cowboy. \"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cattle... now give me back my dog.\"

[Mobius]

LOL. G1.

[Diedel]

and you don't know a thing about cattle... now give me back my dog."

ROTFLOL!

[Kilarin]

A Texan went on vacation to visit a friend in Hawaii. When they went to the beach, the Texan bragged about how South Padre Island had bigger and better beaches. When they saw Honolulu, the Texan bragged about how much bigger and better Houston and Dallas were. And it goes like this all day. Everywere they go the Texan brags about how things are bigger and better in Texas.

Finally, the Hawaiian got tired of this. So he took the Texan up to the top of of a live volcano. They stand there in silence for a while, looking over the rim, watching the molten lava bubble and splash. Finally, the Hawaiian speaks up. \"Got anything like THAT in Texas?\", He asks.

The Texan shakes his head and says, \"Nope, nuthin like that in Texas.\" Then he adds, \"BUT, if its worrying you, Fort Worth has a Fire Department that could put that thing out in 15 minutes!\"

[Diedel]

Hehe.

[MD-2389]

lol

[Zuruck]

good old Texas, the state that intelligence forgot.

[Kilarin]

good old Texas, the state that intelligence forgot.

My Dad always told me... "Son", he said. "Never ask a man where he's from. If he's from Texas, he'll tell you. And if he's not, well, there's no need to embarrass him."

[Isaac]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrmmmm.. mmmmmmmm BLAHIMFROMTEXAS!!!

[VonVulcan]

I like it!

[Sllik]

I'm still IN Texas!! =/

;p